Space Pretzel

I was sitting at the kitchen table of a potential flat (potential meaning it being hypothetical and potentially mine). The kitchen was large and spartanic, high-ceilinged, and had a very large window that stretched from the floor to the ceiling, almost, and might even have been a flattish bay window. The Doctor (played by Matt Smith; the current Doctor) stood there between the window and the table, somewhat on the right side, and suggested I try out for playing the Doctor's next companion. I snorted and said they'd never pick me. And even if ... my mind wandered and I pictured doing just that, trying (that is, waiting for my turn to read) and acting in my chef clothes. This image lasted a very short time before I focused on the window again. It looked out on a dark lake surrounded by trees and I could see much sky above that. I could see stars and a colourful nebula. This picture filled my entire vision... and then contained a large pretzel. I mean, flipping enourmous. It was slender, thin, but BIG. Its shape looked doubled, a bit butterflyish. I thought it might be a space station or a ship. And I was right. It rotated vertically about 90 degrees, swerved to the right and flew a big loop. I expected it to speed away, but it turned back and came right at me, with its centerpiece aligned perfectly to the tip of my nose. It came rapidly closer and grew in my vision as I stared at the midspot that was headed for me. Soon I could make out a zipline and the accompanying latch. When the opening of this pretzel was about 20 metres close to me, both of us hovering out there in black, glinting space, the zip opened a little and revealed a seal, a door, which looked suspiciously like a closed set of pointy teeth in black and white. Which opened to reveal another set of teeth, in dark reds and angled differently this time. The pretzel ship was going to fucking eat me?! Never. I readied my imaginary weapon. (I knew it was imaginary. I had none, so I had to pretend something up, okay?) I pretended to hold a large spray can of lethal poison in my right hand, kept it low and inconspicuous, and waited for the multitude of pretzel doors to swallow me.

As it did.

It opened to a greyish white classroom with over a dozen black and white penguins sitting in broken half circles on plastic chairs. They were sitting still and mute, and simply looked at me.

I'll teach you to snag me like that, I thought-said, and sprayed them all with my pretend-poison. This is lethal, you're all dead now, I informed them, and sprayed again until they all looked utterly immobilised. Meaning, until their eyes all had stopped moving.